Rescue Me
by Slytherin-Essence
Summary: Hermione can't cope with everything that's going on and decides to leave. Will her friends let her stay, or will they let her run to her own certain death? What will Ron do when he finally comes to his senses? COMPLETE! R&R!
1. Scars

_**Chapter One: Scars**_

_You come to me with scars on your wrist_

_You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this_

_I just came to say goodbye_

_I didn't want you to see me cry_

_I'm fine_

_But I know it's a lie_

_This is the last night you'll spend alone_

_Look me in the eyes so I know you know_

_I'm everywhere you want me to be_

_The last night you'll spend alone_

_I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go_

_I'm everything you need me to be_

-lyrics from "The Last Night" by Skillet

Hermione rolled over in her bed, tears falling down her face again. She was so sick and so tired of everyone expecting her to be perfect. She felt like hitting her pillow over and over again, trying to take away the anguish.

She sniffled and sat up, wiping her tears. She went downstairs in the Common Room, pulled up a chair, and pulled the dagger out from beneath it.

She stared into the fire. This was her nightly ritual. She would cry and cry and cry until she felt like she couldn't live anymore, wait until everyone went to sleep, sneak into the Common Room, pull out the dagger, and cut until the pain went away.

_Pain feels good..._

She hated the way she felt most of the time. She'd try to bring it up with Parvati and Lavender sometimes, because she thought they might help since they were girls, but they never did.

_I can't take it anymore..._

Hermione put the dagger on her wrist. It was cold. She shivered and started to cry a little harder as the blade dug into her skin. She winced as she watched her blood fall onto the mantelpiece. She always did it over the fire so there would be no trace that she had ever been there.

_I'm falling inside the black..._

The pain swept up over Hermione, somehow making her feel better. She cut herself again, this time feeling a little bit better.

It was odd how the pain worked. She always thought that pain wouldn't make the person feel better, make them suffer.

But the pain always felt good. Not at first, but after she made a few cuts it always made her feel better.

_I hate the way I feel..._

Hermione looked at her arms. She was surprised that no one had noticed. She had almost run out of room on her arms, and she knew soon she'd have to move on… Somewhere to her hips, maybe, or maybe on her stomach…

She winced at the thought and let the tears flow.

_How did I let this happen to me?_

She had always been happy. Nothing had ever bothered her. She was perfectly fine.

Until sixth year.

Her sixth year, everything changed. She didn't know how to handle anything anymore.

She had convinced Harry to come back to Hogwarts this semester. She knew it was safe here, especially under the care of McGonagall.

Hermione switched hands and put the dagger on her other wrist. This arm wasn't as bad, because she wasn't left-handed and she found it uncomfortable to cut that way.

_Why doesn't anybody care?_

At that menacing thought, she gave herself one, good slit and watched her blood bleed down her arms, trickling onto the mantelpiece.

_I'm a good person..._

Thoughts always ran through her head. Thoughts of her talents, thoughts of her wisdom… She had always thought that she wouldn't be one of those emotional, suicidal girls, but somehow she changed.

It was her love for Ron that did it. She was absolutely head-over-heels about him, and she knew that he barely even noticed her in that sort of way. After the stress of sixth year, that was what had sent her over the edge.

She started over the summer. One time her parents caught her, and it hurt her even more when they told her that she would be fine, and once she got back to Hogwarts she wouldn't even think about it anymore.

How the fuck could they be so careless? Obviously they had never dealt with that sort of a situation, and they were in denial and didn't care to worry about her.

Hermione pulled out a tissue and wiped off the blood from the dagger, putting it back under the chair. No one ever moved the chairs around, and even if they found the dagger, they could never trace it back to her.

She held the tissue onto her wrists to stop the bleeding. When it was finished enough, she pulled her sleeves back down and went up to her room.

As she was ascending the stairs, she ran into Ron and the pain at seeing him shot up her body.

"Hey," he said groggily. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," she whispered, hoping he didn't notice her tears.

"Why? What's up?"

"I… I was just thinking, that's all."

"Oh, all right. Well, goodnight then."

"Goodnight."

He walked down past her and she went up the stairs as he went down. She turned and watched him leave the Common Room. He was probably going to the bathroom or something.

She went back to her dorm and laid down again. Parvati was snoring again. She sighed and looked at her arms and began to cry again.

_Will somebody please help me?_

**Author's Notes:**

Sorry that was sort of emo, but it sort of stays that way… But I hope you liked it, and I'd like to hear what you think so review!


	2. Pain

**_Chapter Two: Pain_**

_Your parents say everything is your fault_

_But they don't know you like I know you_

_They don't know you at all_

_I'm so sick of when they say_

_It's just a phase, you'll be OK_

_You're fine_

_But I know it's a lie..._

-continued lyrics from "The Last Night" by Skillet

Hermione awoke the next morning to find blood stains on her shirt. She sighed; that happened sometimes. She always changed her shirt and washed it before anyone noticed, because that wasn't the way she wanted anyone to find out.

She went down to breakfast, holding a glum look on her face. Some people had, in fact, noticed that she didn't look as happy as she used to.

"Good morning, Hermione," Harry said cheerfully as she sat down.

"Mmhmm," she said, putting some eggs on her plate. She reached over to get the juice, and Ron grabbed her arm.

Hermione froze.

_Would he finally notice?_

He brought her arm down and held her hand. "Hermione," he said.

Her interest raised.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that we don't get to talk anymore."

The words hit her like daggers.

"What?" she asked.

"We just never talk, and we're sort of distant now…and I feel like we've sort of grown apart. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and if you ever need anything, I'm here for you."

He patted her shoulder and she winced; her upper shoulder had a fresh cut.

"You all right?" he asked, noticing her look of pain.

"Oh, yeah," she said, shrugging it. "I'm fine."

She looked down and continued to eat her breakfast. Harry and Ron shared a look, but both decided to shrug it off. If Hermione had a problem, they trusted that she would tell them.

Classes that day were definitely not fun. Hermione droned through them, and a lot of people actually started to notice something was wrong.

"Hermione?" asked Neville during potions. "What's the main ingredient to the Hormone Reduction potion?"

Hermione shrugged. "I have no idea."

Questions began to rise about Hermione. Whispers spread through the halls, people curious to know what was bothering Hermione Granger. She didn't care. She wanted people to notice. She wanted people to question her. She would get more and more destructive until someone decided she was good enough to save.

She knew her plans for that night. It wouldn't be just the normal cutting session. She would make this one more… interesting.

When the sun set behind the mountain, Hermione went to people she didn't normally talk to: The Slytherins. There was a Slytherin that she had talked to in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and she was the only Slytherin who didn't turn out to be a bitch.

"Hey, Marla," Hermione said, walking up to her and hugging her.

"Hey back," said Marla. "So are you ready?"

Hermione sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be."

She followed Marla down the hall. Marla opened a door, looked to make sure no one was watching, and entered the room and shut it. She set her back down and pulled out thirteen bottles of booze and a couple of shot glasses.

"So you've never done this before?" she asked.

"No," said Hermione. She felt really nervous about it, but she thought it would be fun to cut herself while she was drunk.

_I've gotten so messed up..._

Marla poured herself a shot and downed it. She poured another one and handed it to Hermione.

"What is it?" asked Hermione.

"It's Bacardi 151. It will fuck you up so bad."

Hermione sighed.

_This is what I want._

She downed the shot. It burned. Hard. She felt it burning all the way down her stomach and the taste was so strong she didn't know if she could handle it.

"Wow!" she said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, this is some strong stuff right here," said Marla. She waved her hand around all the bottles. "I've got the hook up on anything you need."

Marla and Hermione sat there and drank for the next half hour. Once Hermione was completely drunk, she went back to the Common Room, sat on the chair, stared at the fire, and pulled out the dagger.

_Maybe this time won't hurt so bad._

Her judgment was definitely impaired. She was surprised that she hadn't puked everything up on her way back.

She rolled up her sleeves. There wasn't any room left on her arms.

_Will I fall further into the abyss?_

Hermione sighed. Even though she was extremely drunk, she had enough sense to know that she couldn't cut on her arms.

She had to move somewhere else.

Hermione gently took off her shirt, wincing as the sleeves went over her fresh wounds from the night before.

She stared at her stomach.

_Have I let myself sink this low?_

Hermione put the dagger on her stomach. She took a couple of deep breaths, and pointed the tip a little bit onto it. It made just a little hole, a hole she couldn't feel, and there was a little amount of blood that came out of her.

It hurt so much less when she was drunk.

_I'm scared..._

Hermione didn't know what to do at the moment. Not being able to feel it made it feel so much better… made the intensity so much higher. She could go all night without being able to feel a single jab of pain.

Hermione flattened the blade onto her stomach. She moved it slightly to the right, and a thin cut began to form on her, blood trickling down onto her pants.

_I don't deserve to live anymore._

Suddenly, Hermione's alcohol level didn't seem to affect her as much. She still couldn't feel the pain, but she was more aware now. The tears began to form again as she looked at her bleeding stomach.

She put the knife at another part of her stomach, pulling that one across, and a little further, going more towards her back.

Blood splattered on the chair.

Hermione grabbed the cloth that she'd always use to clean up the blood and dabbed at it. She got it to go away enough to where she could put a spell on it tomorrow to clean the blood out of it.

She watched her blood twinkle in the firelight. She felt her tears running hot down her face.

She watched her life wash away before her.

_I've gone mad..._

Hermione put the dagger somewhere else on her stomach. She decided she wanted to make an incision line going up her stomach, and she did.

Even though she was really wasted, that one hurt.

Hermione sat there and bled for a while, three good, fresh wounds penetrating her body. She watched the blood for a bit before cleaning it up with the cloth. The tears continued to stream down her face.

_I haven't become this person..._

Denial.

Denial was always the first step in every healing process. Hermione Granger was definitely going through a lot of denial.

She walked back up to her dorm, staggering her footsteps a bit because of her increased BAC. She laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling again.

_Will someone please save me?_

She was happy that people had started to notice her strange behavior. Rumors were being spread about her sanity… They thought she'd gone mental ever since Dumbledore died. But that was in the past… She still cried about that sometimes, and she knew that if Dumbledore were here, then he would help in any way that he could.

But he wasn't here. Dumbledore was dead, and that was the cold, hard truth. Hermione had to face her life on her own now. No one would be there to give her the same advice, no one would ever quite have the same twinkle in their eyes, the same hope that could get anybody through any day at any time.

Hermione knew that she was going off the deep end. She knew that she should just tell her friends so they could help her. But for the past six years, Hermione thought that her friends didn't notice her quite as much as she had wanted them to. She felt as if they had sort of ignored her, thinking that she might have been to good for them or something because she was so smart. She had never yearned for them so much in her entire life. She hoped someone would notice soon.

_I hate myself for feeling this way._

She wished she could make all the pain go away. She was glad she at least had Marla now. She realized now why people drank so much; it relieves a lot of pain. A lot of stress. Of course, it wasn't a good way to do it because it was so harmful, but that's what Hermione wanted.

Harm.

_I've fallen down, and I can't get up..._


	3. Fear

_**Chapter Three: Fear**_

_The night is so long_

_When everything's wrong_

_If you give me your hand_

_I will help you hold on_

_Tonight..._

_Tonight..._

_I won't let you say goodbye_

_And I'll be your reason why_

_Away from me..._

_Away from me..._

-continued lyrics from "The Last Night" by Skillet

Marla was pretty much the worst influence Hermione had ever had. Every night, Marla would ask Hermione if she wanted to get drunk. She wouldn't do it every night, but a lot of the time Hermione felt so down in the dumps that she just… did.

One night, Parvati noticed that Hermione was drunk when she came into the dorm.

"Hermione," said Parvati. "What are you doing?"

"I'm falling," said Hermione, laughing and then falling on her bed.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in over this?"

"Well, I'm sure a pooface could tell me!" Hermione giggled and rolled over.

"Hermione, I'm serious! You really should be careful. If you do this kind of stuff, you can't just walk around acting like nothing's wrong! You could get caught."

"You know what's a funny word? Cookie." Hermione laughed. "And pancake." She held up her fingers and counted to five. "And if you say pancake backwards, it's ekacnap…" Hermione busted into laughter and Parvati went over to her.

"Oh, you poor thing. You really got drunk, didn't you?"

Hermione rubbed Parvati's face. "It's such a beautiful face…" she whispered, dozing off a little.

"Well, uh… thanks?"

"No… Ron…"

Hermione fell asleep, leaving Parvati confused. "Ron? You like Ron?"

The next day, Parvati promised Hermione she would never tell anyone about her drunken experience, as long as Hermione promised to stay where she was when it happened.

"You really shouldn't do it though," said Parvati. "You might… tell some secrets."

"I remember stuff that happens," said Hermione.

"You do? Then what did you tell me?"

Hermione stared at her for a second. "Umm… I don't remember, actually."

"It's all right. You were lucky. You just told me you thought I was pretty."

_That's a load of crap._

"Oh… how nice of me," said Hermione. She turned and walked the other way, hoping that Parvati would just leave her alone.

_I need to be careful..._

At least now Hermione knew that someone besides Marla knew of her "secret life". She definitely hoped that Parvati wouldn't be the one to catch her hurting herself.

That night, Hermione and Parvati were the only ones left in the Common Room. Parvati sat in Hermione's chair, staring at the fire.

"You know, Hermione," said Parvati, leaning in a little closer. "We never really get to talk."

"Oh yeah?" said Hermione. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Well, I don't know…who do you like, for instance?"

Hermione shuddered.

_She knows..._

"Well, I don't know… I don't really like anybody, I guess," she said bluntly.

"Are you sure? Because we can talk about this stuff. Are you just nervous or something? I'll tell you who I like."

"All right, well, why don't you start us off then?"

Parvati smiled and moved around in a girlish sort of way. "Well, I think that Dean Thomas is absolutely _amazing._"

"Really?" said Hermione, shocked. "I never really thought he was your type."

"People can confuse you, I guess," she said. She stared Hermione in the eye. "Or surprise you."

_What the hell?_

"Oh, I suppose."

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

"All right, well, it's your turn then," said Parvati. "Who do you like?"

Hermione shifted again. She supposed she should just tell her. "Uh, well… I like Ron."

Parvati's mouth dropped. "No way!"

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Yeah, well, people can surprise you."

"Oh, that's so cute! Does he know?"

"NO! No, no, no. And he won't know, either," Hermione said with a glare.

Parvati put up her hands. "All right, all right, I won't say anything. But I really think that's cute, and good luck to you and him."

"Thanks," said Hermione.

Parvati yawned and stretched. "Well, I am so tired. I'm gonna go to bed. I'll see you in a bit?"

"Well, I'm gonna stay here and read some," said Hermione. "I'll be up when you'll probably be sleeping."

"All right, well, 'night then."

"Goodnight."

Hermione watched Parvati go up the stairs. As soon as she did, she sat in her chair and pulled out her dagger again.

_It's the same story over and over..._

She lifted up her shirt. Her stomach was now also covered in cuts. It hurt her, and she decided that she wasn't going to do her stomach anymore.

She was going to move on to her hips.

Hermione shivered and goose bumps went up and down her body. She pulled her pants down a little and set the knife onto her hip.

That was a weirder sensation then her arms and stomach. Her arms seemed so casual, so normal, because everyone did it. Her stomach scared her because she didn't want to kill herself and her hips… Her hips somehow made her feel alive.

She placed the dagger firmly on her hip and drew a nice, long cut into her skin. The blood began to form and then roll down her leg.

She winced; this one hurt a lot more than the others.

She put the dagger down again, not too far from the last cut, and made another cut on her hip.

The pain felt good. She thrived on it. It seemed like it was a tickling sensation. She felt a rush each time she put the dagger down for a new swipe.

She yearned for this.

_The pain brings me to life._

She needed this.

_The pain forces me to survive._

Every day she looked forward to the pain that she would endure that evening.

_What have I made of myself?_

She placed the dagger once more on her body. She had goose bumps everywhere now, and she began to shiver. It was around fall now, and the air got a lot colder when the fire got a lot lower.

She cut herself again on her hip.

_I'm not stopping anytime soon._

For some reason, Hermione felt a lot less stressed that day, so for some reason her logic forced her to believe that she needed to cut herself a lot more. The normal three to four cuts a night didn't do it for her this evening.

She needed more.

She placed the dagger on her body again. She was on cut number seven for the evening. The blood flowed freely down her legs and onto the chair. She would just do the normal cleaning spell to clean it up, and no one would ever know.

She put the dagger down again for number eight. This one was an extremely deep cut, forcing the blood to ooze out of every pore of her skin. She cut herself twice more to make an even ten.

_That feels so good..._

Hermione had no idea how she was getting enjoyment out of this. It hurt so bad, but it felt so good. It was amazing how those two intertwined.

She moved over to the other hip. That would do it for the night; ten on each hip.

_I need this..._

Hermione pulled out her cloth again and dabbed it all over her body. About twenty minutes later, after cleaning up all the blood, she limped up to bed, where the pain in her legs soothed her to sleep.

The next two nights Hermione spent alone, cutting her legs. For some reason the pain that the legs caused was so much better than all the other pain. The amplification of the pain seemed to caress her, taunt her, draw her in to want more…

Got her so addicted she almost let it take her over the edge.

Especially when Parvati took the dagger she used every night, found the most painful spot in her back, stabbed it and twisted it.

Three days after Hermione began cutting her legs, Ron came over to sit with her at breakfast.

"Good morning, Ron," she said brightly, trying a new approach at getting him.

"Oh, well, good morning Hermione!" said Ron, slightly taken aback by her new cheer.

Harry came over and sat next to them. "Good morning Ron," he said. He nodded at Hermione. "Hermione."

"Hello, Harry," said Hermione, smiling. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing just fine thank you."

Ron took some hash browns and scrambled eggs and put them on his plate.

Parvati walked up and rubbed Ron's chest.

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," said Ron.

They both smiled and kissed.

And kissed…

And kissed…

Hermione's world began to spin around. Everything seemed to freeze for a moment as her eyes locked on the kiss that Ron and Parvati shared.

That kiss…

That kiss…

_THAT BITCH!!!_

Hermione slammed her fork on the table, fuming. Parvati and Ron looked up and Parvati put on an evil smile and started to rub Ron.

"Oh, right," said Parvati. "I forgot to tell you… Ron and I are dating."

Ron turned and smiled straight in Hermione's face.

Hermione stood up and walked away.

"What a spoil sport," said Parvati. "She's probably just mad that we didn't tell her sooner."

Harry got up and followed Hermione. He caught her in the hall.

"Hermione, wait up!" he said, running up to her.

"Go away, Harry," Hermione said, tears coming through her eyes.

"Hermione," he said, grabbing her arm.

She winced and pulled it back quickly.

"GO AWAY!" she screamed.

She turned and ran up the stairs, leaving Harry completely confused.

Parvati had betrayed Hermione. She had confided in her, told her a secret she never told anyone, and she used it as sabotage against her.

Hermione went to the empty Common Room. She went to her chair and pulled out her dagger. She stared at it and then put it back down.

_My pain has gotten worse..._

She had a new idea. She didn't want to just hurt herself this way anymore. She wanted to try something different.

She knew she had definitely gone off the deep end.

_I fear for my own life..._


	4. Doubt

_**Chapter Four: Doubt**_

_In the dark with the music on_

_Wishing I was somewhere else_

_Taking all your anger out on me_

_Somebody help_

_I would rather rot alone_

_Than spend a minute_

_With you, I'm gone, I'm gone_

_And you can't stop me from falling apart_

_Cause my self-destruction is all your fault_

_How could you_

_How could you_

_How could you hate me?_

_When all I ever wanted to be was you_

_How could you_

_How could you_

_How could you love me?_

_When all you ever gave me were open wounds_

_Open wounds_

-lyrics from "Open Wounds" by Skillet

Hermione sat in her dorm room, staring out the window and crying again.

The door opened and she turned to discover that Parvati was walking into their dorm. Her anger built up, and she was glad the dagger was downstairs, because this time it wouldn't be going on her; it would be slitting Parvati's throat.

Parvati sat down. "Hey," she said cheerfully.

Hermione looked up at her with tear-streaked eyes. "What the hell do you want?"

Parvati's look changed to one of concern. "What's wrong, Hermione?" she asked sweetly.

_That bitch. She knows what's wrong. She knows _exactly _what's wrong, and she's buttering me up so I don't hate her so much._

"Don't play sweet an innocent," Hermione said icily. "You know what's wrong."

Parvati smiled. "Hermione, there's nothing to be mad over. It's not like it's my fault. Ron asked me out, I just said yes."

Holding back the urge to punch Parvati in the face was a lot harder than Hermione thought it would've been.

"You could've said no! You _knew _I liked him!" she said.

"Yeah, well, I have a hard time saying no," Parvati said innocently.

"That's because you're an EASY WHORE!" Hermione screamed and stormed out of the dorm.

"What a bitch," Parvati said.

Hermione ran straight for the bathroom and sat down on a toilet, putting her hands in her head and beginning to cry. She sat down on the ground and turned to face the toilet.

_Don't do this._

She opened her mouth and put her finger towards the back of it, gagging herself.

_I hate feeling like this._

She began to cough and she felt her food from breakfast coming back up. She continued to put her finger back. Tears started coming down her cheeks again.

Vomit came out of her mouth and splashed into the toilet. She vomited harder and harder, until she had nothing left to vomit up.

_Don't leave me to do this alone._

She sat down and scooted back to the back of the stall, crying and curling up in the fetal position.

"Why am I doing this?" she screamed out to herself. For so long it had remained to be thoughts, little conscientious thoughts telling her what to do and what not to do.

She sobbed pitifully, pulling her legs up closer. "Why do I let myself do this?" she moaned to herself and began to rock back and forth, all alone in the stall.

Alone.

That single word forced her to feel hated by the world. That was the only word that described out she felt.

After about ten minutes of crying, Hermione looked at her watch. It was time to go to class. She wiped her tears and got up, going to class.

_I have to pretend like nothing's wrong. No one can know now._

She walked down the long, haunting Hogwarts hall. She had gone to the out-of-order bathroom, and was extremely secluded.

It was the perfect bathroom to go to. It was the perfect bathroom to help her feel exactly how she felt.

_I've gone too far._

She entered her Defense Against the Dark Arts. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher's name was Madam Lilac. Hermione laughed the first time she heard it, seeing how a lilac is a flower and she talked Defense Against the Dark Arts. She was a nice lady, and Hermione thought she had been the best Defense teacher yet, and hoped she remained.

She walked in and sat next to Harry, who instantly noticed something was wrong.

"Whoa, Hermione," he said. "You look like you've cried some pretty hateful daggers there."

She wiped away the remaining tears on her face. "I'm fine," she said bluntly.

"What's wrong?" Harry pried.

"Nothing," said Hermione. "Nothing at all. You wouldn't understand."

Madam Lilac began to talk and Harry questioned Hermione no further.

_Don't let me slip away..._

After class, Hermione passed Parvati in the hall. Parvati stepped in front of her, and Hermione ran straight into as if she didn't see her.

"Watch where you're going," Hermione snapped coldly.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" asked Parvati. "Two days ago you were telling me everything, and now you're treating me like I'm the devil or something."

"YOU ARE THE DEVIL YOU STUPID SLUT!" Hermione's shrill yell turned some heads. She cleared her throat, leaned in, and whispered, "You knew I liked him. You said you liked someone else. After I told you I liked Ron, you went off and began snogging him. You are a selfish, cold-hearted bitch and I hate you."

Hermione turned her heal and walked away. She didn't think she had ever felt so much anger before. She didn't know how Parvati couldn't see how stupid and mean she was being. She felt dumb for ever even thinking she and Parvati were friends.

She decided to do something she had never done before: Ditch class. She went straight back up to the Common Room. She felt addicted to that dagger, and she felt like she was going through a withdrawal that she couldn't handle.

As she went into the Common Room, she sat down and went crazy on slitting her wrists. She slit over the scars that had already been left, and she even went over some fresh wounds to make them deeper.

This time, though, she didn't cry. She stared, unblinking, at her bleeding wrists, having an odd sense of… pleasure.

_What is wrong with me?_

She cleaned up quickly and went into her dorm and pulled out a book to read. She heard the door open and footsteps.

The footsteps came up towards her dorm and somebody knocked on her door.

"Yes?" said Hermione.

Nothing.

She opened the door and realized the stairs had turned into a slide, and she knew that a boy was trying to talk to her.

They turned back to stairs, and Hermione descended them and found Ron sitting in the Common Room, looking absolutely livid.

"Ron," she said. "What are you doing?"

"You stupid bitch," he said through clenched teeth.

Hermione took a step back, shocked at what Ron had just said.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Parvati told me what you did to her!"

"Oh? And what was that?"

"She told me all those names you called. She told me how you publicly humiliated her and made her feel inferior in front of everyone!"

"OK, someone twisted that story around. I said it to her, yes, but under my breath. And I only called her an easy whore and a stupid slut."

"YOU CALLED HER WHAT!" he shrieked.

Hermione looked at him, confused and a look that asked for some explanation.

Ron shook his head. "Don't deny it. Don't deny everything that you called her. Everything that you did."

Hermione furrowed her brow. "I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about, Ron."

"YOU THREATNED TO KILL HER!" Ron screamed.

Hermione's mouth dropped open.

_What... a... BITCH!_

"I DID _NO _SUCH THING!" Hermione said, shocked.

"She told me that you wanted me all to yourself," said Ron, fuming and foaming at the mouth. "She said that you told her if you couldn't have me, no one could!"

Hermione descended down the stairs, looked Ron straight in the eyes, and slapped him across the face. The slap echoed across the Common Room.

"How... DARE YOU!" she screamed. "I can't believe you'd listen to that stupid bitch and not me! Take her word over mine, believe that I would do something so stupid! You know me better than that! You're an ass, and I never want to see you again."

She shoved Ron and left the Common Room, fuming again. She went back to the bathroom, and even though she didn't have anything left to vomit up, she forced herself to find something.

_Asshole._

She threw up some processed saliva and some stomach acid and sat in the bathroom, staring at the ceiling.

Myrtle came out.

"Hermione," she said softly. "Are you all right?"

Hermione looked at her.

"I want to kill myself."

"I want a friend," said Myrtle, not in a weird way at all, but quite a dead serious way.

Hermione looked at her.

_Can I really do this?_


	5. Suffering

_**Chapter Five: Suffering**_

_Downstairs the enemy sleeps_

_Leaving the TV on_

_Watching all the dreams we had_

_Turn into static_

_Doesn't matter what I do_

_Nothing's gonna change _

_I'm never good enough_

_And you can't stop me from falling apart_

_Cause my self-destruction is all your fault..._

-continued lyrics from "Open Wounds" by Skillet

Hermione stood in front of Myrtle with tear-streaked eyes.

"What did you say?" she asked, trying not to think of actually committing suicide.

"I could really use a friend," Myrtle said, moving closer. "And I've been watching you… sort of… when you're in the bathroom at least. I've seen how you force yourself to purge… I feel really bad for you."

Hermione sat down and rubbed her face. "At least someone does," she whispered. "It's just… Sometimes I feel like no one out there even cares. I feel like I'm all alone… I mean, it's obvious that I'm in a bad place right now, and I just don't understand how no one notices…"

Hermione sighed and stood up. "Myrtle, I don't know if I can do this. I mean, I understand you need a friend, but…" She began to walk away. "I'm not ready for that yet."

She opened the door to leave.

"I'll be here forever," Myrtle said sadly. "Just in case you change your mind."

Hermione gave a little smile and left the bathroom.

As she was walking down the hall, she ran into Harry.

"Oh," she said. "Hi, Harry."

"Hey," he said. "I, uh… I heard about what happened with Ron. I'm really sorry."

"Oh, yeah, that… Well, Parvati's stupid. Obviously she needs to spread things about other people in order to make her feel better. Whatever. I'm over it."

She scratched her face and her robe slid down a little bit. Harry furrowed his brow and grabbed her wrist.

"What are you doing?" she asked, fear swelling up in her.

_Is someone going to find out?_

"Roll up your sleeve," he said sternly.

Hermione tried to draw back, but Harry held a firm grip. "No," she said.

Harry pulled her arm in and rolled up her sleeve for her. Hermione gasped. Harry's mouth dropped open.

"_Hermione..._" he said, shocked. "Hermione… What is this?"

Hermione pulled her arm out of Harry's grip and rolled her sleeve back down. "This is the pain that I've been feeling for a long time," said Hermione. "This is what's been wrong with me ever since… ever since I haven't been myself."

"Hermione, what the hell do you think you're doing!" Harry said, his voice beginning to sound a little more concerned.

"Look, Harry… It's nothing, really. I mean, it's something, but… Look, you can't tell anybody about this, all right? I mean, it happened a couple of times, but I'm fine now, really… Parvati, however, won't be fine when I'm finished with her, but for now… For now I'm fine."

_Why am I lying?_

Hermione didn't know why she was lying to Harry. She knew that she wanted someone to notice and someone to care, and now that she had it she felt… unsatisfied.

"Hermione, why did you do this in the first place?" he asked.

"No reason," she said. "Let's just not get into it, OK?"

"Hermione, you're my friend. I can't just roll this off of my shoulders."

"Well, OK, just know that I'll never do it again and… and you can watch me now. I'll let you stalk me just to make sure. For your sake, that is."

Harry sighed. "I'm going to follow you like a shadow."

"Except for when I'm in the bathroom," she said, thinking to her purging hour.

"Oh, of course except for that," said Harry. "Now come on, let's go."

They walked down the hall together, Harry wrapping Hermione in his arms.

_What have I become?_

Hermione felt terrible for lying to Harry, but she didn't know what else to do. She knew that the _only _person she wanted to know about this was Ron, and at the moment he was causing it more than he was before, and more than he'd ever know.

Harry opened the portrait to the Common Room and found Ron sitting there. He looked up and his face turned to a scowl when he saw Hermione.

"What are you doing with her?" he asked icily.

"Ron, she didn't say any of that stuff," said Harry. "Come on, you know that."

Hermione broke free of Harry's grip, shot daggers and Ron, and sat down on her chair.

"How do _you _know that?" asked Ron. "There's no proof of that."

"Well, someone obviously isn't blinded by some stupid love," said Hermione coldly. "And they obviously know how their friends work and know what they would and wouldn't say behind each other's backs."

_Why am I pushing him further away?_

Hermione shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" snapped Ron. "Uncomfortable from your lies?"

Hermione glared at him. "You know, Ron, you're a prat, you know that? I hope you and Parvati are happy forever and don't invite me to your wedding."

She stood up and stomped out of the room.

Harry sighed. "You know, Ron, she really didn't say anything. At least, I'm ninety-eight percent sure that she didn't."

Ron shrugged. "Well, right now I don't care. And it's sort of obvious at the moment that she doesn't either, so whatever."

Harry rolled his eyes and went up to his dorm, leaving Ron alone.

Hermione sat on her bed and let the tears begin to form between her eyes. She hated it when the tears just rested and didn't flow. They burned and it only seemed to bring more pain… pain she didn't feel that she deserved.

_I don't understand how I feel..._

She needed to talk to someone. She knew that. She understood that. However, everyone in the school hated her except for Harry, and she had already lied to him about it.

She went to the window and looked out of it again. She didn't know what she was going to do.

_I'm going over the edge._

Hermione turned and went to the out-of-order bathroom. She found Myrtle in there as she walked in and Myrtle's look turned to be somewhat… happier.

"Oh," she said. "Have you changed your mind?"

"No," said Hermione. "But… Myrtle, what's it like to be dead?"

"It's lonely," said Myrtle. "I've been so lonely ever since it happened. I mean, it was better once you and your friends came along, but I'm still by myself most of the time. The other ghosts here don't like me. I'm… I'm the odd ball out."

She floated down and sat down.

"Myrtle, I'm… I'm afraid to die," said Hermione. "I'm afraid to go through the pain of… of losing a soul."

"It's not as bad as you think. But that would depend on the manner of your going. I mean, if it was slow and torturous, I'm sure that wouldn't be fun. But if it's quick and painless… it isn't bad at all."

Hermione sighed. "Well, for now I have an appointment," she said. "So if you'd excuse me."

She went into a stall and leaned over it.

_Don't do this again._

Hermione somehow ignored that feeling and stuck her finger to the back of her throat. She still hadn't eaten anything, so she started to throw up stomach acid again.

When she was finished, she went outside and found Marla in the hall.

"Hey," said Marla. "It's been a while since we've talked! How are you doing?"

"Oh," said Hermione, wiping her mouth. "I'm… Well, I suppose I'm doing fine."

Marla smiled. "Oh, that's good! So, there's a party in Slytherin tonight. Do you want to come?"

"Um, well…" Hermione sighed. Marla looked so desperate. And it had been so long since she'd gotten drunk and drowned away all of her pains… "I'd love to go. I think it would be great."

"Great! Well, it starts after hours, of course, so I'll see you there! Oh, and we're going to have a special guest! See ya!"

She waved and walked away.

A special guest.

_Here we go again._

Hermione went back to the Common Room and found Ron sitting in the same spot that he was when she had left him. She rolled her eyes and entered back. Ron looked up and sighed.

"Hermione, I think we need to talk," he said.

"All right," said Hermione. She sat down at her chair. "Talk."

Parvati walked down the stairs and Ron looked up at her, then back at Hermione. Hermione froze.

"Hello, Hermione," Parvati said in that stupid, "innocent" voice that she had.

Hermione cringed. "Hello."

"Hermione," said Ron. "Parvati told me everything. She told me about how you tried to poison her."

Hermione's mouth dropped open. "WHAT!"

Ron put up a hand. "But we're both willing to forgive you. If that's what you want, I mean."

Hermione was at a loss for words.

_How can I deal with this?_

Hermione shifted in her chair. "All right," she said. "Why don't you go ahead and just talk then, hmm?"

"Look, we want to forgive you," said Parvati. "We understand that it must be hard to be… you."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I mean… you know, everyone hates you and everything. You haven't got any friends, and now that Ron and I are together… you've lost everything."

Hermione stood up. "You two both listen to me! I don't know what the hell either one of you are thinking, but you're both CRAZED! I never tried to kill _anybody _and I never will! I think you both should get your head out of your asses and stop believing every word you hear and stop starting rumors!"

Hermione went up the stairs and pushed past Parvati.

"I think that went well," Parvati said.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Parvati, are you seriously lying about this stuff?"

"No, Ronnie! Of course not!" she said, beginning to descend down the stairs. "You know I would never lie to you! Especially about something like this."

Ron sighed. "All right, then. I just feel bad… I don't know, Hermione's never lied to me before."

Parvati sat on his lap. "Well, darling, there's a first time for everything, right? Oh well, it doesn't matter now anymore anyway. Come on. Let's just show the world why we're perfect for each other, hmm?"

She pulled him into a kiss.

Hermione couldn't believe anything that was going on. She couldn't wait for the party tonight.

_I'm returning to my old ways._

Screw Harry! He couldn't stop her from doing anything! She could cut, and she could puke and she could do whatever she wanted for whatever reason and however often! He couldn't control her!

She punched the wall and cut her hand open as she put a hole in it. She went over to Parvati's suitcase.

Everything was gone.

She'd been expecting Hermione.

Hermione went to her own suitcase.

Everything was slashed.

Hermione gasped. That bitch had gone through her stuff and slashed it up!

Hermione's anger flared again.

She marched down to the Common Room, went straight up to Ron and Parvati, pulled Parvati off of Ron and punched her square in the face.

"Hermione, what the hell!" shouted Ron.

"YOU STUPID WHORE!" screamed Hermione. She pushed her into the wall. "I FUCKING HATE YOU! GO TO HELL AND ROT THERE **_FOREVER!_**"

Hermione turned on her heel and went straight out of the room, leaving Parvati bleeding and Ron completely shocked.

Hermione went to the Slytherin house and found Marla walking down the hall to it.

"Marla!" she shouted down the hall.

Marla turned.

"Oh, hey there, Hermione," she said.

"Forget tonight," Hermione snapped.

"What? Why?"

"I'm not waiting that long. Let's get in there and drink now!"

Marla broke into a smile. "That's right! That's my long-lost girl! And perfect timing, the guest just arrived!"

She said the password and they entered into the Common Room.

And there, Hermione found something she never thought she would ever see again.

Draco Malfoy.

He stood before her, a stupid smirk on his stupid face.

"Granger!" he said. "So long since we've seen each other! How have you been?"

_This is too much._


	6. Loss

_**Chapter Six: Loss**_

_Tell me why you broke me down_

_And betrayed my trust in you_

_I'm not giving up, giving in_

_When will this war end?_

_  
When will it end?_

_You can't stop me from falling apart..._

_You can't stop me from falling apart..._

_You can't stop me from falling apart_

_Cause my self-destruction is all your fault_

-continued lyrics from "Open Wounds" by Skillet

Hermione stood in the Slytherin Common Room and stared at Draco. Silence had fallen between everyone, and people were shooting evil glares at Marla.

Marla looked around innocently. "You two know each other?" she asked quietly.

Draco moved forward and looked Hermione right in the eye. "I believe we've met a time or two, wouldn't you say, Granger?"

She shot daggers at him and said nothing.

"Well," Marla said nervously. "This is fun and all, but uh… I brought her here for some fun, so what say we do that, shall we?"

"Oh yes," said Draco. "Fun."

Hermione broke her contact from Draco and looked over at Marla. "Actually, I think I'm going to go," she said. "I don't know if I really belong here."

She turned to go, but Draco grabbed her. "No," he said. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Stay."

He pulled her back in and shut the door behind her.

She looked around and realized that everyone was looking at her this time instead of Marla. "Well… all right. I suppose I could stay."

"Bring out the booze!" shouted Marla.

The Slytherins began to cheer and Pansy wheeled out a cart full of alcohol. Hermione looked up at Draco, who was smiling down on her.

"This is going to be a fun night," he said quietly.

"Get the hell away from me," Hermione spat.

The Slytherins continued to cheer and Draco pulled Hermione away from everyone.

"Why do you have to be so cruel?" he moaned. "Why do you have to do this to me?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she snapped.

"Come on…" He put his arm gently around her waist. "You know you've missed me… I've been gone for so long."

Hermione pushed him off of her. "Get the fuck away from me," she said seriously, walking away from him.

"Hard to get I see!" he shouted at her. "I'll break you, bitch! I'll break you!"

Hermione went over to Marla, shaking a little bit.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked.

"What do you _think _is wrong? Draco's here! He's my worst enemy! I _must've _told you that at least once."

She shrugged. "If you did, we were probably drunk. Look, don't worry about it. He's a dumb ass, just ignore him. Come on, kick back a couple of shots and have a good time! No one's here to judge."

"Did you see the looks on their faces when I walked in?"

"All right, so you're a little unwelcome. You're a Gryffindor in the Slytherin house. Didn't you expect that just a little bit?"

Hermione looked down. "I guess."

Marla handed Hermione a shot. "Now, come on! It's just a bit of fun!"

But fun was not what Hermione had that night. After she had been there for a little while and everyone, including herself, was drunk, Draco came back up to her.

"Hey beautiful," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Go away!"

He moved in closer to her. "I don't think you're giving me a fair chance."

"I think you killed Dumbledore, and this is the best chance you're allowed to get!"

She started to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her back and kissed her. She struggled, but he kept a firm grip on her, forcing her to keep in his grasp.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she sputtered.

"Showing you some real love," he whispered. The amount of alcohol on his breath was unbelievable and it almost made Hermione gag.

"Get off of me!"

He started to drag her away from the party, where no one even noticed that she was gone.

"What are you doing?" she shouted. Everyone was too busy laughing and drinking to hear her screams.

Draco went into the boy's dorm room and threw Hermione down on the bed. Even though she was drunk, Hermione's awareness factor had tremendously increased and she could still feel the pain and the fear welling up inside of here.

"Did you miss me?" Draco asked her.

"No you fucker!" Hermione snapped.

Draco walked over to her and slapped her in the face. Hermione lay on the bed and rubbed the spot. It was sore and red and the pain seemed to go through her entire body.

Draco straddled her and turned her over in the bed.

"I think you did," he said.

He started to kiss her again, pinning her down to the bed.

"No," Hermione pleaded. "Please, get off…"

Draco started to unzip his pants, and then hers.

Hermione closed her eyes. "No! Please!"

Draco leaned in, his tongue not the only thing he put gently inside Hermione.

--

After it was all over, Hermione sat up on the bed and looked out the window while Draco slept next to her. She was crying and she felt extremely violated and held her clothes close to her now.

Draco stirred and looked over at her and smiled. "Hey, baby," he said. They were both sober now, but the party was still going on downstairs.

Hermione said nothing. She just sat and stared. Draco put a hand on her.

"Touch me again and I'll slit your throat," Hermione said, the hint of pure evil behind her voice.

Draco pulled it off of her and sat up. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Do you even give a damn?"

"Look, Hermione… For all these years, I know I've been mean to you, but…"

"Draco, you can shove that tiny cock of yours in a bull, because I don't want to hear it."

She stood up and stormed out of the dorm, ran down the stairs, and headed for the exit sign.

Marla found her and approached her, laughing.

"Where are you going?" she giggled.

"Stay away from me," Hermione said icily and ran out of the Common Room. Marla shrugged it off and started laughing again, then screamed happily and took a shot.

Hermione sprinted down the hallway and went straight to the out-of-order girl's bathroom. She sat in there and put her head over the toilet, this time not necessarily throwing up because of her pain, but throwing up because she thought that if she did it would make the evening false. She couldn't think of anything but Draco on top of her, the happy look on her face, and the pain that she felt while he was getting his pleasure.

When Hermione was throwing up, even though it was dark, she could tell she wasn't throwing up normal vomit. It wasn't vomit or stomach acid, actually.

It was blood.

Her blood.

Hermione sat over the toilet, throwing up blood.

_How did I let it get this out of control?_

Myrtle slowly drifted in and saw Hermione crying on the floor.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"No," said Hermione. "No, I'm afraid I'm not, Myrtle."

Hermione let it all go and began to sob. Myrtle sat down next to her and tried to wrap her arms around her, but being a ghost she went right through her.

--

Hermione stayed up all night thinking about the attack Draco laid on her. She was actually in the bit of a situation.

Did she actually like it? Was she just saying no because it was Draco?

The more she thought about it, the less fear she had about it.

It wasn't that bad…

It was just unexpected.

She rolled over.

_How can I let myself think this?_

But it didn't feel wrong. It was extremely weird, but none of it felt wrong. She felt like she actually wanted Draco… Felt like he actually might make her feel wanted…

But he had killed Dumbledore.

It was his fault that she had really let the insecurities build up.

But was he sorry for that?

The next morning Hermione made a decision. She saw Draco passing in the hall, went up to him, and kissed him.

_Have I really lost all self control?_

--

**Author's Note:**

**The chapters will be getting longer now that a major plot has unfolded. Review!**


	7. Enemies

_**Chapter Seven: Enemies**_

_The walls between_

_You and I  
Always pushing us apart nothing left but scars fight after fight  
The space between _

_Our calm and rage   
started growing shorter, disappearing slowly day after day  
I was sitting there waiting in my room for you  
You were waiting for me too  
And it makes me wonder_

The older I get  
Will I get over it  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think  
The older I get  
Maybe I'll get over it  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I can't believe it still hurts like this

-lyrics from "The Older I Get" by Skillet

Hermione pulled Draco away from her, his kiss still fresh on her lips. He smiled.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"Why do you need to ask?" she shot back, pulling him in closer. "Why don't you just accept your fate?"

He kissed her again.

_I can't believe I'm doing this._

That was the only thing that Hermione could think. She had no idea how she could allow herself to be this close to Draco… it seemed so…strange. She had always hated him and now, somehow, she had decided that she loved him.

Draco grabbed Hermione's hand and led her away, back to his dorm room.

--

Harry was getting fed up with everything that was going on. It was stressful enough dealing with the death of Dumbledore and thinking of the final battle between him and Voldemort, but now he had to death with the Ron and Hermione drama. He had no idea what was the matter with Ron. He had always thought that Ron liked Hermione. He knew that Hermione liked Ron… But why was Ron with Parvati? He shook his head, not wanting to hurt his brain over something so childish.

He went into his room and found Ron sitting on his bed, looking relatively distraught.

"Hey," said Harry. "What's wrong?"

Ron shrugged. "I feel bad."

"Why?" he asked, sitting down across from him.

"Hermione."

Harry nodded. "I see."

"What's going on, Harry? I mean, I never thought that I could treat Hermione like this before."

"Like what?"

Ron shot Harry an angry glare. "Don't pretend like you don't know. Everybody knows. I hear the whispers behind my back. Everyone thinks that I'm treating Hermione like shit. Everyone, Harry. No one likes the idea of me and Parvati together… And I think that everyone thinks Parvati's lying about the things she's accusing Hermione of."

Harry took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "All right, well, I know that what you're thinking is sort of true. Everyone does think she's lying, I've heard it too. But Ron, you can't listen to what everyone else is saying. You have to do what you think is right."

"But I don't know what _is _right. I feel like I should be with Hermione."

"Then be with Hermione."

"But I also feel like it's right with Parvati."

"Well, Ron, think of it this way: As far as what Parvati's saying about Hermione, who do you trust more? Do you honestly think Hermione would say that kind of stuff, and do you honestly think she'd lie to you about it?"

Ron sat for a moment. "Well, I do suppose it seems a bit incredulous."

"Well, then it's a bit incredulous! Come on, Ron. No one else can make your decisions but you."

"I know," said Ron. "I suppose I just need some time to think."

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, actually. Sorry."

"No problem."

Harry went back down to the Common Room where he found Parvati sitting in front of the fire. For some bizarre reason, Harry felt a sense of rage coming up on him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snapped.

Parvati looked up, a bit taken aback by Harry's attitude. "What are you talking about?"

"You're a lying, backstabbing bitch, did you know that?"

Parvati laughed. "I may be lying and backstabbing, but at least I'm good at doing both."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "You stupid bitch! How could you be taking advantage of Ron like that?"

Parvati laughed again. "Harry, you're so insolent! I'm not taking advantage of Ron! I feel bad for bringing him into this, actually. I'm taking advantage of Hermione, darling."

"WHAT?!"

"Come on, Harry. For being so 'smart', you sure are sort of dumb."

"What's wrong with Hermione?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just sort of fed up with her."

"Fed up with her?"

"Yeah. She always gets everything she wants."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"You may say that's ridiculous, and it may be… But if she doesn't have everything she wants, she has everything I want. She's got good grades, and we all know that I'm barely passing. And she had Ron. And Ron's all I ever wanted. And then she told me that she liked Ron, and he told me that he liked me, and I liked him, and then it just sort of happened."

"But why are you lying about what Hermione's not actually telling you?"

"Because even though Ron was with me, he was sort of looking over at her. I had to make sure I kept him."

"You're a bitch."

She smiled. "And proud."

"Rot in hell."

Harry left the Common Room to go in search of Hermione. He felt that she sort of deserved to know what was going on, since Parvati really _was _being a hardcore bitch.

Harry found Hermione in the hall, and she looked a little…messy.

"Hermione," he said, sort of taken aback.

"Oh," said Hermione, trying to fix her hair. "Hello, Harry."

"Where have you been? I was looking for you."

"Oh, I went to go visit Marla."

"Who's Marla?"

"I never told you about Marla?"

"No."

"Oh… She's my friend from Slytherin. Now, I know you're going to think I'm crazy… in fact, I read it on your face…but she's nice…She really is nice, I'll introduce you. She wants to meet you. She really doesn't belong in Slytherin."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah. There's really nothing to worry about, don't worry."

"_HARRY!!!!!_"

Harry turned around to find an absolutely pissed off Ron stomping towards him.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What the hell do you think you're talking about?"

"How could you treat Parvati like that!"

Parvati leaned out from behind Ron, smiling at Harry, and Harry and Hermione's mouths dropped. Ron turned and Parvati began to "cry."

"WHAT?!" shouted Harry. "What are you talking about?"

"You were lying to me up in our room, weren't you! You wanted me to be with Hermione because you think Parvati's easy and she hadn't gotten any in a while and so that's why she got with me!"

"That's absolutely absurd, Ron!"

"Is it? That's what she told me."

"So everything she says just happens to be the truth now?"

"When it comes from her, yes, in fact. I trust her."

"And you don't trust me?"

"Not when you talk to her like that."

Harry and Hermione exchanged glances.

"You know what, Ron?" said Hermione. "I don't know where you think you can get off treating your friends like this. You've fallen off the stupid cliff and you're rolling down it head-over-heels for Parvati. When you feel like you can actually keep your alliance with your friends, come and find me and Harry."

She grabbed Harry's wrist and they walked away. Hermione was fuming and Harry was completely confused about how Ron was treating them.

"What is his problem?" he asked.

Hermione stopped in a deserted hallway. "I have no idea," she said.

_He's making me hurt._

"And what's wrong with you?"

Hermione looked a little taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"I mean recently you've looked a little pale. You're starting to get bags under your eyes, you're getting extremely thin, extremely secretive, and you seem to be disappearing a lot. And this all seemed to start happening around the time when Ron began to date Parvati. I don't really know if anybody else has noticed, but I have and you're starting to frighten me just a little bit. Are you all right? Because if you're not, you know you can talk to me."

Hermione sighed and looked down.

_I need help._

This time, Hermione didn't just think it. She voiced it.

"I need help, Harry," she said, beginning to cry. "I don't know what's happening to me! I'm spiraling out of control, and it all needs to stop!"

She fell to the ground crying and Harry wrapped his arms around her.

"Hermione, what's going on?"

Hermione rolled up her wrists. "This is only part of it," she whimpered. "And it's all because of Ron! It all started with him not wanting me…and it all continued with this whole stupid Parvati thing…and I've wanted to tell so many people! I didn't want to keep it this whole big secret, but I wanted Ron to figure it out before anybody else. I kept imagining him coming to rescue me… he would be my knight in shining armor and everything would be all right… I never really wanted to die; I just wanted him to notice.

"Harry, please don't tell anyone. I've also gone to some parties with the Slytherins and I forced myself to throw up… Harry, I trust you with this. Please don't fear for me. Find some way to get Ron to figure out what's going on. He's the only person who can save me now, Harry."

She continued to cry and Harry held Hermione close.

"Hermione, I had no idea."

"Well, I guess I'm good at hiding it then," she said, trying to force a laugh.

"Hermione, you should've told me."

"I know."

"Or at least told somebody else."

"I know, I know… It was just hard for me, all right?"

"I know. And I'll try to convince Ron. He's just being really stupid right now."

"I sort of figured that one out on my own."

They laughed.

"Well, I'm glad I know now," Harry said.

"Me, too. But listen, I have to go. I have to do some studying and it's sort of piling up."

"All right. I'll see you back in the common room."

Harry and Hermione went their separate ways, but Hermione didn't have any homework to catch up on. She went back to the Slytherin Common Room. She didn't know what forces were forcing her to go back, but she knew she needed some sort of comfort.

Earlier it had just been her and Draco. She didn't know if it would be the same way this time, but she thought that it would be worth a try.

"_Morsmordre_," she whispered and went into the Common Room. It was empty. "Draco?" she called out. Her voice actually echoed around the dungeon.

There were footsteps behind her and she turned to find Draco.

"Hey," Draco said happily. "I see you've come back for more."

Hermione smiled. "Well, I don't know… Draco, how do you feel about me?"

Draco approached her and put his arms around her. "You know how I feel…" he whispered. His whisper sent chills down her spine.

"No, I don't. Am I just used for your pleasure?"

"Of course not! I love you." He kissed her.

She began to cry again. "But I don't think that I love you," she said.

"That's all right. You don't need to love me. I just want you to…I just want you to want me. It doesn't matter your reasoning or anything… I just want you to think of me as I think of you."

Hermione smiled.

"Now, let's give you what you came here for."

Draco led Hermione up the stairs and shut the door behind them.

--

Harry went into the dorm room to find Ron sitting there. He sighed and sat on his bed, pulling out some of his homework. He could feel Ron's eyes glaring at him, but he chose to ignore them.

"Why did you say those things, Harry?" Ron asked.

Harry slammed his book shut. "Ron, you're a right fool, do you know that?"

"Why?"

"She's got you under her thumb! I can't believe that you'd think that both me _and _Hermione would tell her all these stupid things! You're such an idiot!"

"How am I supposed to know who's telling the truth and who's not?"

"Well, I vaguely remember a conversation we had earlier about you having to decide who you can trust and who you can't. And just in case you need some help in deciding, I'll just let you know that Hermione and I wouldn't lie to you about something like this, and we both want to see you happy instead of watching you sulk around all the time like your life is coming to an end! You're such an idiot, Ron!"

Harry stood up and walked out of the dorm, but Ron wasn't letting him go that easily. The Common Room was filled with people, but that didn't stop either one of them.

"I can't believe that's what you really think of me!" Ron hissed.

"I can't believe that you honestly think Hermione and I would do that, but I guess this day is full of surprises, isn't it?"

"You're an ass."

"I'd rather be an ass than a stupid git who lets his stupid girlfriend wrap him around her finger and sabotage all of his friends."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"She doesn't even really want you! She said so herself. She said she actually felt bad for forcing you to 'be part of this' and this was really all directed towards Hermione. You really have no idea what's going on, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"

The people in the Common Room had sort of backed up in order to give them some space, but Harry and Ron ignored all of them and continued with their anger.

"Parvati doesn't like you," said Harry sharply. "She's just using you."

"You're lying."

"You're in denial."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm not surprised."

Ron stared at Harry for a moment, shifting his weight.

"Well," he said softly. "I think that after all this everything can become apparent. Everything's apparent that you and Hermione just don't want to see me happy."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, whine! Gosh, Ron! I don't think Ginny's the only girl in your family, I think you've just been hiding it from us all along."

Ron walked straight up to Harry and punched him in the face, then left the Common Room. Harry looked around at everyone who was just sort of staring back at him.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

Everyone continued doing what they were doing.

--

_I still can't believe I'm letting him do this._

Hermione rolled over, leaving Draco alone and asleep. They were both naked and had just finished having some fun and she began to put her robes back on. He rolled over and put his arm around her waist.

"Where are you going?" he whispered.

"I need to go away," she said back.

"Why?"

"Draco, this isn't right."

"But it's fun."

"Fun doesn't always mean something."

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not being like anything. I just… Draco, it's apparent that you're good, we don't need to discuss anything there. But the truth is… I hate you. I genuinely hate you. And although that shouldn't effect me, somehow I still have a guilty conscience. You don't deserve to be used like I'm using you. I'm just using you to deal with my pain."

"I don't mind, Hermione, really. I knew that when it first started. Why do you think I raped you?"

She hit him. "I still can't believe you did that!" she snapped.

"Well, you came back for more."

"Draco, this isn't right," she whispered.

"Think about it," he said, softly kissing her shoulder. The kiss sent chills down her spine. "Think about it and then let me know."

She started to cry and left the room. Draco smiled, knowing that she wasn't going to go very far.

Hermione went to the out of order bathroom again. It seemed like it had been forever since she had forced herself to throw up, and she knew that her self-destructive ways were going to get worse.

Tears flowed down Hermione's eyes as she gagged herself until she threw up. She sat in the stall and looked up and stared at the window.

Myrtle drifted slowly in through the stall wall and sat next to Hermione.

"Hermione," she said softly. "You haven't begun to feel any better?"

Hermione shook her head.

"I don't know what the problem is. Every day it just seems to get worse."

"Do you feel like telling me about it?"

"Ron hates me. That stupid hoe Parvati told him lies about me. He hates Harry now too because she told him the same thing. It makes no sense why he doesn't trust us. Harry found out about all the things I do to myself." She started to cry. "All but one. He doesn't know that I've degraded myself enough to sleep with Draco." She sobbed a little. "And he raped me… and I went back for more… I hate him, but what he does… the pain he forces me to have…it makes me feel better."

Hermione let the tears roll and Myrtle actually wished she could've hugged Hermione.

"Everything's just gotten worse," Hermione sobbed. "It just seems like it's all spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do. Myrtle, I think I'm going over the edge."

Myrtle sighed. "I know this may not be what you want to hear," she said. "But my offer still stands. I still feel alone in here all by myself, day after day, hour after hour. None of the other ghosts like me, and so I know how you feel."

"Myrtle, I don't know what to do."

"Life isn't an easy thing, Hermione. The hardest thing to do in life is just to get through it. But that's the great thing about death. If you die now, you can come back and haunt all the bastards who made you feel this way. And you can even get to their heirs if you want. No one who tortured me is around anymore, and so I feel a little bored."

Hermione locked her gaze with Myrtles. "Is death really not that bad?"

"It's better than life, in my opinion."

"I'll think about your offer, Myrtle. Thanks."

_It might not be too long until you have your friend._


	8. Whirlwind

_**Chapter Eight: Whirlwind**_

_The time between   
Those cutting words  
Built up our defenses never made no sense it just made me hurt  
Do you believe  
That time heals all wounds  
It started getting better but it's easy not to fight when I'm not with you_

_  
The older I get   
Will I get over it  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think  
The older I get  
Maybe I'll get over it  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I can't believe it still hurts like this_

-continued lyrics from "The Older I Get" by Skillet

Hermione sat in front of the fire that evening after everybody had gone to bed. She stared into it, letting it put her into a trance and making her feel like she's never felt before. She watched the flames dance around in the fire place and wished they could've been around her, consuming her body and burning her flesh until it turned to ash.

She moved in her chair, holding a book next to her. It wasn't a book that she had gotten from the library; it was a book she had found once in a Muggle store over the summer that she read when she felt sad or lonely.

She opened up the book and looked at the picture of a girl staring back at her, looking exactly how she felt. The book was sort of a counseling book, used to help young girls like Hermione overcome their pain and move on in their life.

Hermione used it as a book for ideas.

She flipped through the pages, seeing what some of the girls did to hurt themselves.

Then, Hermione found it.

Pills.

Of course. How could she have not thought of that before? She could get some Advil or Tylenol or something small and stupid and no one here would know what it was for. She could say it was Muggle medicine that her parents had sent her.

So easy.

So clean.

So destructive.

She thought for a moment about it. Pills could be extremely destructive…she could overdose without actually meaning to.

_Isn't that what I want?_

An overdose. An overdose of pain… that may be what could send her over the edge…

Hermione pulled out some parchment and a quill.

_Dear Mom,_

_Hello! How's everything going? Everything here's going good... except I have a problem. I keep getting these headaches and I can't get rid of them. I've visited the Hospital Wing, but nothing seems to work. Do you think you could send me some Advil or Tylenol or something? Those always seem to help me when I have my headaches at home._

_I hope everything's going good. I miss you guys! Christmas vacation is coming up soon. I'm debating whether or not to come home for it. I don't know. I'll keep you posted._

_Well, once again, hope everything's good! Keep in touch._

_Love, _

_Hermione_

Hermione read the letter. She couldn't believe that she was actually asking her parents to help her in her destructive ways.

_I may have pushed myself too far..._

Hermione folded up the letter and went up the stairs to her dorm where she decided she would use Parvati's owl without asking her.

The owl went away and Hermione watched her go. She went back into the Common Room and found Harry standing there.

"Oh," she said, taken aback. "Hello, Harry."

Harry looked up at her and looked relieved to see her. "There you are!" he said, exasperated.

"Here I am," she said bluntly. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yes, actually. I went to Slytherin and met this Marla girl of yours."

Hermione descended the stairs and went over to Harry.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Hermione, listen. She's trouble. They're all about partying and smoking and doing things that I know you don't do."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Newsflash, Harry. I've been doing a lot of things that I normally wouldn't do. There's just nothing that you can do about it, that's all."

Harry stared at Hermione in horror. "You did not just say that, Hermione."

For some reason, Hermione all of a sudden felt an attitude towards Harry. "Are you deaf or something? I'm pretty sure I did just say that, Harry."

"Hermione, you aren't drinking and smoking and doing the things that the Slytherins do, are you?"

Hermione shrugged. "What's it to you?"

"It's everything to me! Hermione, you're in the middle of a whirlwind! I don't know if you realize that or not, but you're definitely not being you! Drinking, smoking, cutting yourself, forcing yourself to throw up and God knows what else! This isn't you! You know it, I know it… Hermione, I know you told me not to say anything but I can't just sit back and watch you do this to yourself."

"Harry, this is none of your business," Hermione said icily, shooting daggers and Hermione.

Harry shook his head and stared at her in disbelief. "I can't believe that this is coming from you. This isn't you, Hermione. You need help."

She laughed. "I'm beyond help, Harry. There's so much going on that you don't even know about. You're just naïve, that's all."

"I'm not naïve, Hermione! I know that there are other things going on! Would you just talk to me?"

"Harry, I've talked to you enough! And if you're threatening to tell people about it, then it's obvious that I can't even trust you with what you already know! So if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed."

"You're not getting away that easily," he snapped.

"You can't control what I do. I know you're the great Harry Potter and everything, but there are things you can't save. There are things you can't conquer or be a hero for. I happen to be one of those things. Good night."

Hermione stormed out of the Common Room, leaving Harry completely aghast.

--

The next morning Hermione was shocked to find Parvati's owl returning with the pills she asked for and a letter from her mother.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I'm sorry you're getting headaches, honey! I know that you get them a lot... hopefully this will help you! Magic can't solve everything, obviously._

_Everything's going good here! I haven't heard from you in such a long time, I was beginning to wonder about you! You seemed a little down in the dumps when you left, is everything better now?_

_I hope you're staying out of trouble! Hope to see you over the holidays as well! Well, I'll talk to you later!_

_Love you with all my heart,_

_Mom_

Hermione felt a sudden urge of guilt. How could she be doing something so evil as what she was doing when she had parents so kind as hers?

_Because they didn't care._

But did they? Was Hermione over thinking everything that had been going on?

Hermione folded up the letter and put it away, careful not to ruin it. She looked around.

The dorm was empty.

Hermione sighed and opened up the pill bottle and poured six pills into her hand.

She felt tears well up in her eyes again. That's always how it would work. She would do something she knew she shouldn't be doing, and she would cry. That was her defense. Stupid tears.

Her tears turned to tears of anger and she swallowed the six pills whole. She knew she would be feeling a little high or loopy soon. She actually didn't know how she would be feeling, seeing as how this was the first time she'd done something like this.

Hermione closed the bottle and put it away under her pillow.

The door opened and Parvati walked in and rolled her eyes.

"Being a little on the emotional side again? It's good to see you're cooping yourself up in here and not going out to face the real world."

Hermione felt her anger flaring up again. "Why are you on a mission to hurt me? What did I ever do to you?"

Parvati laughed. "Why do you think everything has to be about you?" she said icily and left the room.

About ten minutes later, Hermione felt a little odd. She didn't know exactly how she was feeling. It was sort of like a mixture between really, really tired and really, really high.

The dorm room started to spin around her.

She laid down on her bed.

The wooziness was comforting. She smiled and let it overcome her. Even smoking anything with Marla wasn't as exhilarating as this.

Hermione felt sleep coming over her.

If sleep was all Tylenol made her do, Hermione knew she'd have to get something else.

She'd have to talk to Marla again.

--

That evening, Hermione went to see Marla, but instead she found Draco in the middle of the hall.

"Hey," he said. The moonlight was shining perfectly on his smiling face, and for the first time ever, Hermione felt a surge of love for him.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I was just coming to see you."

"Oh? Well, I was just going to Slytherin."

"To see me?"

"Maybe. It wasn't first on my agenda, but I could've swung by and stopped to have a quickie."

"Well, you could have your quickie first and then go to the House to do whatever it is you wanted."

Hermione smiled. "Where?"

Draco nodded towards a shut door. "Broom closet. Always a good place."

Hermione smiled and Draco led her into the closet.

After they had finished, Hermione went to the Slytherin House and found Marla and told her about her present situation.

"Dumb friends," said Marla.

"Tell me about it," said Hermione.

"And so now you're fucking Draco?"

"Yeah."

"Fun painkiller," she said in a mocking voice.

Hermione laughed. "Speaking of painkillers…"

"Right, the pills. Yeah, I can hook you up, don't worry."

Hermione felt oddly relieved. "Oh, good."

"Yeah. I went shopping through the Muggle world. They got some good stuff out there. But you shouldn't start off really strong or anything. You don't want too much too fast."

"Yeah, well, I had some Tylenol today."

"Good start. I'll hook you up with some better stuff later on."

"Good. Thank you, Marla."

"What are friends for?"

Hermione smiled and left, going back to the Gryffindor Common Room. She sighed as she saw Harry there again.

"Hermione," said Harry. "I know."

"What?" she asked, confused.

Harry took a deep breath. He was obviously struggling to say something and Hermione looked at him as if looking would coax it out of him.

"I know about you and Draco."

Hermione froze and fear shot up her back.

_How?_

"Oh," she said. She went over to a chair and sat down. "I see."

Harry stared at her. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Harry, it's not what you think."

"It's not even just snogging! If you just hid in a closet and snogged then that would be fine, but fucking? Come on, Hermione! I _know _this isn't you."

"How did you find out?"

"How the hell do you think I found out? This is Draco you're talking about! He hates us! He wants us to feel pain, and you're not using him as much as he's using you as his fucking rag doll!"

Hermione froze and looked at the ground.

She was being used.

He had promised her that he loved her.

And he was using her.

For his own pleasure.

"Harry, I know this is really weird."

"Weird? Weird doesn't really explain it."

"Harry, have you talked to Ron at all?"

"Yes."

"Then why is he still listening to Parvati?"

"He's blinded by a love that isn't even there." Harry sat down across from Hermione. "Just like somebody else I know."

Hermione looked down, avoiding all eye contact with Harry.

"This has to stop," he said.

"It won't," said Hermione. "I don't even care anymore. Just go and tell everyone. Tell Ron. Maybe it'll stop."

"Fine," said Harry. "I will. I'll tell Ron tomorrow and he'll come and save you, you'll see."

Hermione nodded. "Good. Tell him tomorrow."

"I will. And then I can stop worrying about you."

Hermione sighed. "Harry, there's nothing to worry about. I can take care of myself. Really."

"Really?"

"Yes. And this is scary, but you're so confident that Ron will help me. So tell him. See if he cares."

"I will. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

_If I even last that long._


	9. Gone

_**Chapter Nine: Gone**_

_What was I waiting for  
I should've taken less and given you more  
I should've weathered the storm  
I need to say so bad  
What were you waiting for  
This could have been the best we ever had_

I'm just getting older  
I'm not getting over you I'm trying to  
I wish it didn't hurt like this  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I can't believe it still hurts like this

-continued lyrics from "The Older I Get" by Skillet

The next day rolled around and Hermione waited. She waited for Ron to come and scream at her, she waited for him to attempt to rescue her. That's all she wanted. She just wanted to be saved.

She popped in a few more pills as she sat by the fire. She was ditching class that day. She was _sure _Ron would notice if she started to ditch class. She never did something like that...

But he never came. She waited and waited and waited, but he never came...

Hermione felt her eyes well up again.

_Harry doesn't care._

She through the nearest thing she could find, a tray full of food, into the fire as hard as she could. It broke and food splattered everywhere. She overturned her chair in anger. She thought of anything she could do to just sit here and break anything that got in her way.

She screamed and through a book at the portrait hole. She punched a wall and her fist went right through it.

_Ron won't come to save you._

She ran up the stairs and into her room, packing her things as she went. She was going to leave. She was going to get the hell out of here because this place wasn't even worth it anymore.

She was going to leave here, but she didn't know if she was ever going to make it home.

_Draco doesn't love you._

She never thought for one moment that those words could make her so mad. She packed quicker, and when she went back down to the Common Room she found Harry there, waiting for her. He looked confused as he saw her trunk.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, that's where I'm going," she snapped, attempting to walk past him.

Harry pulled out his wand. "_Wingardium Leviosa._"

Hermione's trunk flew out of her hand and she pulled out her wand, but Harry was too quick for her again.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

Her wand flew out of her hand this time as well.

"Harry, what are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"For six years I've been one of your best friends. Do you really think I'm just going to let you walk out that door right now over something so stupid?"

Hermione felt her anger rise up a little more. She always had wondered if anger and frustration could be made into a potion...

_Get the hell away from me._

"You can't stop me, Harry. I'll leave right now with or without my things."

"Why?"

"Where's Ron, Harry? Why hasn't he come to save me yet?"

Harry looked down. "Because Parvati has him under her wing."

The words hit Hermione hard, even though she had come to expect them.

"Exactly," she whispered. "He cares too much about her to care about me anymore. And he's the only one I ever wanted to care. Now, Harry, please give me my things so I can get out of here."

"Hermione, no," Harry said firmly.

"Harry –"

But Harry didn't let her speak.

"You know, Hermione, you talk about Ron a lot. Ron this, Ron that, 'I wish Ron cared.' What about me? You know, I've already told you I've been one of your best friends for six years now. What if I want you to care if I care? Did you ever think of that? What if I feel for you the way you feel for Ron? What if I'm going through the exact same pain that you are? The person you love the most is the person who won't even open their eyes and realize that you exist. The only problem is, I know you're meant to be with Ron, and guess what? He knows it too. This whole Parvati thing is just a stupid school fling that will be over before you know it. So before you walk out that door, you better buck up and talk to Ron yourself."

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Hermione felt herself to calm down a little as if a cold liquid was coming down her sides.

"You love me?" she whispered.

Harry looked taken aback. "Yeah," he said stupidly. "I do."

Hermione nodded slowly, looking down at the floor.

"Harry, I'm really sorry, but I have to go. Please, give me my things. I promise you I will no longer do anything stupid. I just need out of here."

They stared at each other for another long moment, and Harry finally gave up and let Hermione have her stuff back.

"Thank you," she whispered.

She exited the portrait hole and went down towards the Entrance Hall. She didn't realize that it was dinner time now and people started to notice.

And then there he was.

Draco Malfoy. Strutting his stuff through the school like he always did.

"Oh, look everyone," he sneered. "Granger can't handle things anymore. She's going home. I guess I was too much for her to handle in the sack."

Everyone around them gasped. Hermione felt her cheeks turning red and looked around.

_This is it_


	10. Dead

_**Chapter Ten: Dead**_

_Things are changing   
It seems strange and  
I need to figure this out  
You've got your life  
I got mine  
But you're all I cared about  
Yesterday we were laughing  
Today I'm left here asking  
Where has all the time gone now  
I'm left alone somehow  
Growing up and getting older  
I don't want to believe it's over_

Don't say goodbye   
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight  
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I  
And although we knew  
This time would come for me and you  
Don't say anything tonight  
If you're gonna say goodbye

Do you remember  
In December  
How we swore we'd never change  
Even though you're leaving  
That our feelings  
Would always stay the same  
I wish we could be laughing  
Instead I'm standing here asking  
Do we have to end this now  
Can we make it last somehow  
We both know what we've gotta say, not today  
Cause I don't wanna leave this way

And if it's over  
It hurts but I'm giving you my word  
I hope that you're always  
Happy like we were  
Happy like we were

Yesterday we were laughing (if you're gonna say goodbye) 

_Today I'm left here asking (if you're gonna say goodbye)  
And although we knew this time would come for me and you  
Don't say anything tonight  
If you're gonna say goodbye_

-lyrics from "Say Goodbye" by Skillet

Hermione stood and stared around at everyone who was staring back at her. She began to shake and she wished she could hit Draco in the face.

"What are you talking about?" she tried to ask as calmly as she could.

Draco laughed again. "Here's the story, everyone. Little Miss Granger over here is in love with Ron. Ron doesn't love her back. He's in love with Parvati. Granger keeps trying to commit suicide over all of this –"

As Draco was reciting the story, Hermione couldn't help but start to cry in front everyone.

" –and little Ron doesn't even care. Then Granger comes to Slytherin and starts sleeping around. She finds me and I tell her whatever she wants to hear and throw her into the sack. Then she sits there," he laughed again, "and thinks that I actually _care _about her. She thinks she's actually worth something when everyone knows…" He turned and looked her dead in the eye. "She's not."

Everyone was silent as Hermione stood there, crying. She looked over and saw Ron, who was looking at her.

_There's nothing left to live for._

She turned and ran out of the Entrance Hall, leaving everything she brought there and leaving everyone behind.

What she did not see, however, was how Ron really looked. He looked absolutely livid at Draco for telling everyone what Hermione's problems were. After Hermione ran away, Ron went straight over to Draco and got about an inch away from his face, fuming.

"Who the FUCK do you think you are?" he sneered through gritted teeth.

Draco didn't look phased. "Whoa there, Weasel, you might want to think about brushing your teeth every once in a while."

A couple of Slytherins around him laughed, but Ron didn't think it was so funny. He pulled his fist back and swung squarely at Draco's face, knocking him on the ground. As he was on the ground, Ron kicked him a couple of times and then made to leave. He was cut off by Parvati.

"She's just using you," she said. "She just wants your attention. If you go after her, then we're over."

Ron stared her straight in the eye as well. "Then I guess we're over."

He pushed her out of the way and went to find Hermione.

Hermione had run to the top of the Astronomy Tower and went out on a ledge. It was really high up and the wind was blowing strongly as she walked along the edge, looking down and crying.

_Just fall. It won't hurt that bad..._

She sat on the edge, looking down.

_Just wait. Maybe someone will come..._

And to her great surprise, someone did come.

"Don't do it," came Ron's voice from behind her. He was still a fair distance away, but he was moving closer.

"Don't come any closer!" she screamed. "I'll jump!"

Ron stopped dead in his tracks.

"Why are you doing this?"

"You know why. Draco laid out the whole story, plain and clear."

"I can't believe you degraded yourself to... To..."

"Well, I can't believe that you let that stupid bitch Parvati _manipulate _you the way she did! And I can't believe that you've known what's been going on and done nothing! And I can't believe that you would EVER call yourself my friend!"

Hermione's tears made it harder for her to speak. Ron looked down as if he was a puppy who was getting scolded by his master. Hermione kept crying.

"You're too late, Ron," she whimpered. "I've made my decision and you can't help me now."

"Are you sure you've made your choice?"

Hermione snorted. "No, I'm just sitting at the top of a castle at the end of a ledge, but I'm still debating on what I might do."

"Well, that's what I think."

"The more you talk, the more you show your stupidity."

"Well, I think that if you would've jumped, you would've done it already."

"Don't try that reverse psychology crap on me. I'm going to jump."

"Don't do it Hermione?"

Hermione stood up off the ledge, remaining close, to turn around and look Ron straight in the eye.

"WHY NOT?!" she shouted.

"BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!" he shouted back. "YOU WANTED ME TO COME AND SAVE YOU AND THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

Hermione stared at him for a second. "You sound like Harry."

"Harry?" said Ron, completely confused. "Harry's not in love with you."

"He said he was."

"He was probably just trying to get you to stay."

"Oh, that helps this situation loads more."

"But is that what you really want? Do you really want Harry to be the one who's in love with you? Look, I know I've been a right git recently because of Parvati, but the truth is, I love you. I do. If I didn't love you then I wouldn't be up here now."

"What about all the times before? This has been going on for so long and you've done nothing."

"Parvati put me under a spell! Do you really think I would do all of those things to you?"

"That stupid bitch…"

"I know. I hate her. Everyone will after this. Look, just come down off the ledge."

Hermione made to move but slipped and fell over the side.

"NO!" Ron shouted. He sprinted to the side as Hermione fell to her death, pulled out his wand, and screamed, "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" at the top of his lungs. Hermione hung in the air for a minute, looking scared. Ron guided her into the nearest window and sprinted down to find her.

When he did, he held her in his embrace and swept her up into the biggest, sweetest kiss she had ever had in her entire life. They stood there kissing for at least twenty minutes.

_He saved me..._


End file.
